A visit from an ex

Philippians 2:2-4 ©
Be united in your convictions and united in your love, with a common purpose and a common mind. There must be no competition among you, no conceit; but everybody is to be self-effacing. Always consider the other person to be better than yourself, so that nobody thinks of his own interests first but everybody thinks of other people’s interests instead.

About a month ago and out of the blue my "ex" dropped by very unexpectedly. We were a couple for about three years or so and when we split, when he moved out, the ties were really kind of severed. He didn't look back and I climbed into a bottle for a bit and pickled myself. The drinking was not his doing, don't get me wrong it was all mine, I did it, it was my problem and will hopefully stay "was." I work on that one each day. Some days are much harder than others.

Anyway, he dropped by out of the blue which is very uncharacteristic of him. He came in and talked. I did a lot of listening and I thought hearing. The stories, the tales, the happenings all about the same as four years ago when we ended. He seemed stuck. Then he just kind of dropped, hinted, that he was thinking about moving. We didn't spend any amount of time on it, like a breeze it passed faintly.

That was until three weeks later when I saw his address on our goal board at work. He had listed his home for sale with another agent in my office. I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with the visit and the whisper that he might move, the vague mention of an action. This is one of the reasons why we didn't work and what upsets me is that even after all of this time, in knowing this fellow, I still don't really hear him when he talks. I know that expecting him to just come out and say what he is going to do is a pipe dream, but frankly it would have been easier and far less anxiety causing for me had he not stopped by and just put his home up for sale.

Truthfully, I don't want his business, this isn't out of a dislike for him; but more for a like of myself and a wanting what's best for him. It is also out of a wanting what's best for my mental state and his. We didn't work as a couple, nearly from the beginning, I still really don't know how to "hear" exactly what it is he's saying and at this point in time I really don't think or expect that he will change how he says what needs to be said. This boils down to a relationship that really isn't one because the basic communication elements are missing.