Another Christmas in Smyrna

Another Christmas in Smyrna

Years, like sand through an hourglass are slipping past. Christmas at Smyrna is always enjoyable, as the years progress they seem much more relaxed and low-key. Happily, my mind’s preconceived notions of what the holiday should be have been tempered by the years. So it really is okay now to just enjoy quiet time, walk in the park, stroll in Beaufort, nap, visit and read my book.

This year dad was still fighting quite a cough that's really been around since the start of the month. He wasn't feeling 100%. Dad seemed to really enjoy the holiday: the expression on his face was very easy-to-read and he enjoyed speaking and listening to his Christmas Eve dinner guests.

Mom did a standup job with food which was a delightful assortment of stuffed shells, homemade meatballs, sweet sausage, bread, salad and homemade pie. The dinner conversation was steady and warm and went on for hours. My job which of course is self-appointed; is cleanup detail so by the time mom and dad were done saying goodbye to their guests the kitchen was clean and the dishes stacked in the dishwasher.

I guess where I'm going with all of this kind of mundane observation is that when everyone pitches in its easy and relaxed. Of course year in and year out we’re all acutely aware that there are missing people at our table, those who have gone on and those who never show. The empty chairs of those who have gone on are easy to cope with, it is what it is; they have no choice. Those who never show well that's a little more difficult to cope with; it's harder to get your arms around the fact some who you love just don't come, never offers to, never asks and never seems to care. Whether they care or not remains a great mystery.

Bull's Head Inn

Bull’s Head Inn

It really is amazing how the decades can fade away. This Sunday after Nana’s 100th birthday party I drove up to Goshen New York to have dinner with two high school friends. The day was lovely; the drive-through northeastern New Jersey was amazing. The mountains were pretty, the sky uncommonly clear and the colors crisp. As I drove I thought if I had found this before moving to North Carolina I would've moved here. The New York Thruway was equally beautiful and the town of Washingtonville New York a delight. Washingtonville looks like one of those miniature Christmas villages, idealistic, serene, neat and warm.

The Bull’s Head Inn was equally charming, nestled on a gentle rise, along a country road outside of Goshen. My friend Beth and I arrived at the same time and we retired inside to wait for our friend Sheryl to show up. Beth and I sat at the bar drinking soda and talking and starting to catch up. I gave her little snippets from my grandmother's birthday party, from work and from life in general and she did the same. The bar was absolutely stunning, with the picture window beyond the bottles and a view of the meadow. The top of the bar was copper which I found to be amazing.

Sherryl showed up at about 5:10 and she looked like she had just stepped out of high school 30 years ago. Truthfully, so does Beth; I'm not sure the same could be said about me. So Sherryl showed and we were directed to our table. We had a private corner in the public dining room and we were the only people in that room.

The atmosphere was wonderful, the food was perfect and the nearly 5 hours of conversation was fluid, warm and engaging. I was struck then and am struck now by how easily the decades with these two fine women just melt away. As we talked, we rediscovered very keen and specific shared values; interestingly enough, and even though life had taken us in very different directions the three of us rediscovered that we felt the same way about a variety of issues. All three of us are concerned about the deterioration of manners in our society, the venom that embodies the body politic and the overall disregard for the disenfranchised within our society.

Of course we spoke about our families and what had been going on in our personal lives and that was wonderful. It sure is nice to know that people who I care so much for are doing real well in the end. Of course their lives are not ideal no one’s life is. My own life included. My one wish and my one take away from this evening is that we don't wait 10 more years before we see each other again; but if we do I'm not concerned because I know that my friends are there.