To say that this May has been a terrible, tornado of a shit storm would be an understatement. If I had my way, I'd remove the month of May from the calendar forever. In the scheme of bad things happening May and October generally are number one and two on my hit parade. This year the stars aligned for epic drama and disappointment in the merry, merry month of...May.
My nephew Julian who I have gone to bat for many times, as it turns out is a liar and a thief. There is a lack of moral compass in his character and he like so many of us is his own worst enemy. Perhaps if he had received counselling when he was a teenager or before, his present situation could have been averted. At present he is a resident of the Durham County Jail as a guest of the sheriff.
Early in May my mom and dad phoned me to inform me that Julian had forged checks while living in Lynchburg, VA with Ms. Annie. Julian ended up with Ms. Annie when his parents, my brother and his wife kicked him out. Julian's adopted parents were not proactive when they plucked him out of an African orphanage and brought him to the U.S..There was no family counseling and Julian and his sister were thrust into the bedlam and chaos that is my brother's home and his wive's life. When things got too tense with the kid they tossed him out. As ill equipped as Julian's parents are, I wasn't surprised when they just gave up.
So early in May I become enlightened and in the know regarding Julian's criminal behavior. I'd suspected his multiple lies from early on and my parent's reporting confirmed my suspicions. In fact I'd started setting him up with little tests of character, ethics and morality. On a near weekly basis he failed those tests. He abused my trust when I was out of town and didn't work at his assigned tasks. He stole a debit card and ultimately he stole checks from me and forged and cashed one of two checks. Sadly, I had told him exactly what I'd do if he stole from me. So on the night of the discovery, he was arrested. That was three weeks ago.
Retrospectively, allowing Julian to live in my home was a mistake. He lacks motivation and drive to succeed and is content to just let work come his way. When he does work he does good work but I discovered that he is consistently on the watch for situations where he can cheat or take advantage, which would lead to lies upon lies. Toward the end of his tenure here, I felt like a captive in my own home and I was locking everything up. Julian like so many of his ilk underestimated me even though time after time I would bust him, confront him and call him out on his behavior.
So, now my question is, where do we go from here? I won't allow Julian's parents to be part of my life because of their lack of honesty, do I except Julian? I don't know. I do know that he can't live in my home. I know that he may not come into my home or my parents home other than for short, supervised visits. Do I offer him his job back knowing that on many occasions he was not where he was supposed to be or doing what he was supposed to be doing? Again, I don't know. I do know that if I forsake him now he'll end up in the criminal justice system for sure. At the core of my being, I think he'll end up in the system anyway,
but without action on my part it will be sooner rather than later.
