Selfishness

Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved. 1 Cor 10:33.

Today as I digested a "bash," that being in a homosexual relationship, is a sin, even if, I imagine, that relationship is committed, loving, nurturing and caring; I started to ponder on all of the ways people can be selfish. Selfish, loving of one self, selfish serving one's own ends, selfish acting without contemplation of others. Please don't misunderstand, there is a lot in the "gay" lifestyle that I find objectionable but those characteristics can be found somewhat corporately in all human conditions. There is a difference between being gay and being homosexual.

I have been guilty of selfishly pursuing hedonistic pleasures. I have been guilty of pursuing drunkenness, drug induced intoxication and over riding self gratification. Thankfully I've left all of that behind. Those behaviors are sinful and selfish. I have also loved a man, deeply, compassionately and selflessly. I held him in my arms as he died, and that was not a sin. As he died I tended to his every physical need down to the most base; because he could not; that was not sin and that was not selfish; I promised him that I would do those things and I kept my word. If the shoe had been on the other foot, he would have done the same thing for me, because we made that selfless promise to one another. I did not fore sake my partner and in that there is no sin.

There is no sin in thought, there is sin in acting on a thought. There is no sin in simply being, being male, being female, being heterosexual or being homosexual. There is however sin in action, the action of being adulterous, the action of being drunk, the action of being dishonest, the action of forsaking another.

Eno Quarry

The time on the path, in fall sunshine, in shirt sleeves with my gnarled stick was refreshing and inspiring. I was alone with God, which gave me time to talk to God in an out loud voice. That too is refreshing and empowering.


The time on the path, with falling leaves, with falling acorns, with scampering squirrels gave me time to revisit and listen to God's whispers. If you can stop and step away from all of the noise and ground clutter God is there patiently waiting.

I can now face the rest of the week, the rest of the month, the rest of the year, but I know that I will have to revisit the path and God waiting there.