Honor and Respect

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and mother

Romans 13:7 Respect who respect is due, honor to whom honor is due

Blood is thicker than water and that being said I am very protective when it comes to my dad and mom. My parents were always there for us as we were growing up and there also well into adulthood. I’ve always know that if I needed advice or a helping hand that I could count on both of them. They have patiently listened, guided and comforted me. When John died and even before when he was so sick; they listened as I worried and wept. They must have felt helpless watching me in my despair.

My folks have also been there for joyous times; time spent out at a Place at the Beach as a collective and extended family. Time spent on their boat with day trips to Cape Lookout and Shackleford Banks, always paying for the boat and the fuel. There were countless holidays in their first Beaufort home, with so many at the table that we had to add on and on. There were multiple July vacations with my nieces and nephews splashing in the bay at Smyrna and huge holiday picnics were even if one wasn’t invited a spot was made for them.

Mom and Dad also gave selflessly; helping us move countless times, in and out of dorms, apartments, carriage houses, more apartments, new cities, more apartments, our first homes and on and on. When vehicles failed or ignored student loans came due the check book was opened and they came to the rescue. When graduation parties needed planning they stepped in. When derelict properties were in need of rehabilitation they dropped everything including vacation plans, fixing their own home, visiting their aged parents or just sitting down and jumped in and generously did what needed doing and even bank rolled the effort.

My parents partnered with us in business too; often shouldering more than half the work but never more than half the profit. Countless times they treated to meals out when the assumption was that they would do so. If their generosity unacknowledged or some sort of other boorish behavior exhibited by others; those actions simply ignored. At holidays and birthdays a veritable bounty was provided for the kids and adults, sometimes not even with a nod of thanks and yet other times quite the contrary. Truly, they never looked for kudos, they just did it.

They aren’t perfect; they have their failings as we all do. I don’t always like what they say but I respect what they say and their right to say it, with age does come some privilege. In looking back I reckon that they are responsible for where I am now and who I am becoming. It is kind of strange being past middle age yet still being someone’s child. It is a true blessing having them so much a part of my life. I relish my odd weeks off down on the coast where we can boat, drink coffee on the deck or go their church together. Beyond all of that I enjoy the open, honest, respectful, honorable and true relationship that we share. It isn’t always easy but all three of us work at it. Finally, I truly believe that if relationships are ignored or unacknowledged like a plant that isn't watered, they whither and no amount of finger shaking or rebuke can alter that fact or undo the whilted leaves.