Bad behavior?!?!

What is it about folks who behave badly and perhaps cheat, lie, steal and manipulate and then when caught turn themselves into the victim?

This week I discovered that a buyer client of mine was poached by another agent in my office. The buyer knew that he'd behaved badly because once I had discovered what was going on he started stalking me electronically. The other agent knew that her actions were wrong because she made her actions known to me in a very public setting where had I reacted at all I would have looked bad and embarrassed a guest to our office.

What is most disturbing about both of these people is that they to some degree have tried to turn themselves into the "victim" in all of this. The agent so; by becoming over wrought by the fact that I won't discuss this with her. You see, the damage is done, I don't need to discuss what's happened, I don't need to subject myself to bad or inappropriate behavior, I just won't do it. I'll forgive, but I won't forget and why should I? As for my former client/friend, the same is true, he's left me a message where he's all but blamed me for his behavior in one breath and in the next offered to "make it up to me."

I don't want to be made up to. It is too late on both counts for respect, which is what I did and do want. In each instance each one of these people could have come to me before hand and explained what they wanted to do and we would have come up with a plan from there. That being said, I will not subject myself to bad behavior and then after the fact be painted the wrong doer and be expected to assuage collective guilt.