The face of God and the personality of Jesus

1 Peter 1:15-16 ©
Be holy in all you do, since it is the Holy One who has called you, and scripture says: Be holy, for I am holy.

I am having a hard time finding the face of God and the personality of Jesus. Recently I feel just kind of disconnected and have been unable to find an emotional connection. I find this more than a little disturbing because I am not aware of ever having this problem before.

I wonder if this is a function of being too busy to actually find time to find center, that peaceful, quiet place where prayer and meditation comes easily. Perhaps too this is a function of feeling a bit lonely. A friend and I were discussing loneliness and being alone and he didn't seem to be able to connect that even in the company of others it is possible to feel lonely.

I also think that I am trying to cope with the fact that a decade has passed since John got sick and died and that fact is somewhat staggering for me. The decade represents a lifetime or two and life altering changes on more than one front. It is amazing to me that after so much time I still think about him everyday and still miss him so much that it causes my heart to ache.