Counting Blessings

I have had a weekend alone. Well not really; given my career I am never really alone; I see and meet and talk to lots of people every day. I sometimes feel very much alone and lonely. I think it is mostly due to the fact that as a young man I lost John my partner and I've never really been able to get used to that hole in my life. I've really just kind of learned to work around it; to cope with it.

So, this weekend, Ray, Angie and Michelle were in Greensboro for the ACC tournament. Rick is in Canada, Jen and Mary were in Pennsylvania and my folks are traveling. My countless other friends I didn't reach out too and my brother, well my brother wants nothing to do with me. So my weekend has been reflective and enjoyable. I did have dinner last night with clients who are more than clients; they are friends.

Today, the joy of the weekend became most apparent. I went to Imani MCC here in Durham. It is nice to be back with my community. As Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz, "The next time I go looking for my heart's content, I won't go any further than my own backyard."
Me too.

As I exit the car and make for the door of the church house, there is a familiar face. I face that I first came to know twenty five years ago during freshman orientation for college. It was Julie. Oh how I've thought about her all these years. How I've wondered what her life has been and where she's gone and then poof, here she is in Durham and she's treasurer of the church. The love I felt seeing this woman warmed my heart. God truly answered a prayer by her being there.
I am so blessed and so lucky to have so many different and talented and warm people in my life.

Love's example a tough goal

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

When I read this scripture this morning I realized that all too often when a preacher is expounding on this passage, they preach and teach on the verse up to the word resentful. So, I started to look at the rest of the verse and to pray on that.

Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins; or love takes no pleasure in other people’s misery. Often what is our sin is also our misery, our living hell. You see, it might be reasonable to think or believe that hell isn’t a destination per se but rather a place in which we put ourselves with our actions and inactions. If we walk with the light of God, the light of Christ as our spirit and guide then we can’t take pleasure in other’s misery or even our own. Wow, knock my socks off on that.

Saying we can’t is a pretty lofty expectation though. Maybe a better turn of phrase is that we shouldn’t take pleasure in other’s misery. This part of the verse is an excellent example of how humans fall short; obviously only a perfect person is the only person who could always overlook with no pleasure another’s failings; that perfect person would of course be the One, the Great I am, the Son of Man, Christ who came as flesh and remains as spirit to teach and lead as example. What people can pray for is the strength to rise to His example; to try.

As a believer, a thinker and a hoper, which is what I believe a follower of Christ is; then through that belief and trust we should endeavor to excuse other’s transgressions; help rescue them from their misery and hope and trust that God will guide us to those ends. No small task indeed.

Known and unknown and the doors between

William Blake, quoted by Bishop Carlton Pearson in "The Gospel of Inclusion."

In the universe there are things that are known and things that are unknown and in between there are doors. If that is the case then the doors remain ajar through which the curious can peak. The tragedy of theology is that these doors have been closed.

I've been looking at this idea in a multi fold approach. With respect to the cross and the gift that was given by God at Calvary. Christ's sacrifice at the cross was God opening a door for humanity to peak through; to get a glimpse of what it is to love, sacrifice and give, to be the ultimate Good Samaritan. That action by God enables human kind to wrap its arms around the ultimate act of love as an example to live by. I believe by that action we are commanded to be Christ like. We are charged to strive for perfection, knowing that in our lives most of us will never be called to sacrifice as Christ did.

So, when we're commanded to be a Samaritan and sacrifice in a small way, through and act of kindness, generosity, hospitality, a smile, being polite, loving the Christo-eclesia folks who attend church on Sunday with whom we might have friction or disagreements or out right hostility, it is indeed a very small challenge in light of the gift of Calvary.

Imagine the doors that we open when we treat others to a glimpse through that door with a small act of kindness. Think about the example we lead when we pass our lunch out the window of our car to the homeless person begging at the side of the street. Think about the gift we give when we smile and engage a store clerk.

As important is how we treat those with whom we "share belief." Often we share a common belief in Christ as a savior but we get mired in the nonsense of personal opinion. We slug it out over marriage, abortion, salvation, sexual orientation, divorce, alcohol and all the while loosing site of the cross, the death, the suffering, the Resurrection and the church as bride of Christ. We need to knowingly nod to our brothers and sisters, let them have their say, respect their stance, value them as a person and love them.

These seemingly insignificant examples are priceless gifts to opening the door and looking into Christ-like service. In light of Christ's sacrifice these small gifts seem like nothing but in fact they are excellent illustrations of how simple it can all be.

How do you get into Heaven?

Here is an interesting idea, I’m not worried about getting into heaven by the deeds that I do here on Earth.

In reading, “How Good is Good Enough” by Andy Stanley, the question is asked, what do you need to do to get into heaven? A child in a Sunday school class answers, be dead. This got me to thinking and chewing on the notion and hope of getting into heaven. Philippians 3:20 says, But our citizenship (actually our real homeland) is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. As an evangelical follower of the Christ there is no task that I can complete, no good deed to do, that can get me into Heaven.

In reality, right now, and hopefully forever, I won’t have to worry about the end or eternity in heaven, it is far more important to live a Christ centered life here and now. Christ’s gift enables us for lack of a better word to only fret about today and what is directly before us, he says so. By his passion, crucifixion, death, time in Hell and resurrection Christ gave us the ultimate gift. He, fully God and fully man reconciled us to God, his father, the creator. By his deed, God’s deed, the plan, we have been given the everlasting joy of eternal life and salvation and all we have to do is believe, ask for it, ask for forgiveness and then model it to the best of our ability while trapped here on Earth.

I am not suggesting that we live willy nilly without discernment, planning, holiness and calculation but rather a more truly faithful and holy life. Christ’s gift challenges us to holiness not only in deed but in word. Matthew 12:37, for by your words you will be justified and by your words condemned, so to those who crucify with words, think first. Then when it comes to deeds, Jesus says in Matthew 5:9, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they well be called children of God. Peace on this level can be boiled down to a whole host of actions, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, comforting those in pain and modeling Christ’s life through action.

All of this thought about Heaven and Hell leaves me wondering about those protestors who I saw at N.C. Pride yesterday. Did they think that shrieking at us through bull horns and berating us with their belief that we were going to Hell helped any of us? How do they reconcile the words of Jesus Chris in Matthew 12: 37? How do they reconcile that God is Love, Jesus is Love and we are to love one another as we love ourselves and above all else love God. Do they really think that telling another human being and child of God that they are going to Hell is a loving helpful action?

I used to become agitated, angry and furious with these folk. No more, I now pray for them all. I pray that they see that by word and deed we are to love our fellow human beings and only by doing so do we guarantee a place for ourselves in heaven. Day to day we must strive for holiness…wholiness if that fits better, and makes better sense. You see that in and of it self is the task and deed to get us to Heaven’s gate and beyond. We go to the creator, humbly and ask for forgiveness and professing our belief. It has only to do with us, self and no one else. There is where so many others, the verbal crucifiers, the physical crucifiers miss their mark. They’re not worrying about themselves, they are abusing others and nowhere in the New Testament does Christ God the Messiah abuse the beloved chosen.

Now, I feel a profound sadness when I read the likes of John McCann or see the screamers at NC Pride, they are not helping people by showing them a Christ like attitude but rather they perpetuate the notion that there is no place in a Christian world for outcasts and folk on the margin. The reality, Christ made it perfectly clear in his ministry that the marginal are those precisely whom we are called to serve. If we serve them, if we befriend them, if we save them then they will to know how to get into Heaven, and in by doing so at the end perhaps God with Jesus at his right hand will say to us, “Well done.”

Genesis 19

1The(A) two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth 2and said, "My lords,(B) please turn aside to your servant’s house and spend the night(C) and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way." They said,(D) "No; we will spend the night in the town square." 3But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
4But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. 5(E) And they called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight?(F) Bring them out to us, that we(G) may know them." 6Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, 7and said, "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. 8(H) Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man. Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof."

I would like to take a balanced and fair look at the “sin” in this well known and well used story from the book of Genesis, the very first book of the Bible. The book where by word and word alone God created heaven and earth and all. God also declared all created as good. So, I’d like to look at the word and extrapolate it down to a very real and meaningful aspect of my life. The indictment in this story is the word, “know.” There is no doubt about what the men of Sodom mean by know. In this instance it has nothing to do with affection or caring. In this book of the Bible the word know means hurt, abuse, belittle, control, humiliate and be inhospitable.

Righteous Lot offers his virgin daughters to be hurt, abused, belittled, controlled, humiliated and violated an offer witnessed by the people of Sodom. The men of the city say no; it is the strangers that they want to violate. Here’s where the story takes on relevance and power in my world. It revolves around being a stranger and in some cases being treated as a stranger by those related or just that close. It is the realization that “loved ones,” as close as blood can view me as a stranger with perhaps contempt and bigotry and perhaps veil their bigotry in God’s word.

Those close or not will say that my being gay is a mortal sin. That for me there can be none of God's grace, love or redemption because of what I am, who I love and what I find attractive. They will say that I cannot get into Heaven because I will not live a lie, I will be true to myself and therefore be relegated to hell. That if I wanted to ask another man to marry me it would fly in the face of their marriage contract which they view as holy and divinely appointed and approved, which I believe it is. I ask, but what has that to do with me and what have I to do with them? I see it as nothing. My choice to marry, union, bond, live with or use whatever word best describes the union has little if nothing to do with them on a Biblical level or really any level other than perhaps bigotry or some sort of phobia.

My partner John died eight years ago. We'd spent many years together forging a life together, traveling, owning property, attending church, paying taxes, cooking, entertaining, paying bills, cutting grass, visiting with friends and on and on. I think that my point in laying all of this out is very clear...a marriage or union so to speak. John got sick and was in hospital; a close family member didn't come to visit. John passed away and a family member didn't come to the funeral. I melted down for a couple of years after John died and several close family members didn't call, write or check in much. At the time I didn't think much of it and oh yes these family members were friends of Johns. They'd broken bread with him and spent a fair amount of time in his company.

Since so much time has passed and I've had time to heal and reflect it has become clear to me that there is a fair level of inhospitable behavior in some of my family's actions. By devaluing my relationship with John they were acting as the folk of Sodom; there was a void of hospitality. That coupled with the judgment of a very pointed bumper sticker referring to marriage between one man and one woman causes me pain when I see these family members.

I don't understand the need for the bumper sticker or that particular marriage point of view. How are they hurt or even affected by two men or two women creating a union and calling it a marriage? If the people love one another, and love is good and God is responsible for all that is good and all in all, where is the threat, the harm or the danger to them? To deny one what is good is inhospitable and that is the sin of Sodom. This is a good place to point out that all sin is supposedly equal.

My mind then races to find the motivation? Could it be that these folks are mired in the judgment and anger of the Old Testament? How do they reconcile their feelings to the verse John 3:16? How do they reconcile the fact that they do not adhere to Levitican code of the Old Testament but they expect others to do so? How then do they approach the fact that Christ was sent fully God and fully human to create a new covenant and bond with God and the redemption of the world and human kind? Is that love and redemption not available for all who believe? Is it only available to some that live life exactly like they do, going to the same type of church, having the same friends, denying anyone outside of their view of the Christian bubble, salvation and grace by judgment and bigotry. How do you win people to the loving mission of a Christ centered church by painting a circle and painting others out with judgment, castigation and inhospitality?

My answer is simple, I don't know. To be sure, I cannot even talk about this with my family. I don't know how to broach it and I'm not sure if it is even worth it to do so...perhaps in my mind the void is too wide. With so much time, I avoid the deep and needed conversations of reconciliation with them My fear in opening a conversation is that words will turn bitter and rude. So I stay quiet and polite. I know what my mission is; it is to love and be friends with all who I encounter, that by demonstrating my openness and willingness to accept them for what they are and where they are they can come to know the joy that I feel.

You are the salt of the Earth and the light of the world

Matthew 5:13-16
Salt and Light
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

I just love the beatitudes and the lessons in them. Today I went to a new church for me and the lesson was taught on these verses and it was so inspiring and relevant and timely. The pastor essentially said that followers of Christ live in bubbles. It is inside those bubbles that we cast judgment on the folk of the world who are not saved or church goers. The pastor also pointed out that empirically the only difference between church going believers and those not; is that goers own more Bibles. Goers are just as likely to lie, cheat, steal, harm and act in deceitful ways. Goers do tend to give more to faith based charity too but that’s about it.

Interestingly enough when we believers go into the world we tend to try awkward attempts at getting the world into our churches. We tend not to befriend first but ask and invite first which tends to put the none church attendee off. In fact often it makes them run away very quickly. So in very broad terms I began to think about the church that I’m a member of and the difficulties there now.

The church where I am a member is in crisis. Attendance is falling, people come but they don’t stay. I’m a prime example. There are individuals who are members of my church who I love and cherish but the larger church didn’t invite me in or engage me. They asked my spiritual inventory and then ignored it. They tried to plug me into areas where I have no passion, like hospitality and the board of trustees; where I still sit; but not for long. My passions revolve around singing, acting, visual arts, writing, teaching and preaching. All of those passions were ignored and dismissed. It was made very clear that my round peg wasn’t going to be put into my round hole and so I lost interest.

So, roughly a year after becoming a member of my church, I’m looking for a new one. A church closer to home, one where my round peg will be placed in my round hole and my faith passions can be explored. I know soon enough that I’m going to write a letter of resignation to my church. I think in it I will have to be open, honest and forthright with them and tell them exactly why I no longer feel lead to attend or be a member of their congregation. I approach this action with trepidation and when examining the action feel my light flicker. My church was very much a part of my recovery from years of self destructive behavior.

I love the members and the pastor of the church where I’m a member. They helped me discover that I am worthy and loved and most importantly I am capable of chaste love. They helped me discover that the living God not only lives in me but in all people and that all people are worthy of redemption and grace There I discovered that in order to get new folks into church you have to be their friend first, they have to see the light in you and taste the salt. The salt is Christ and living a life lead by his example, service and sacrifice. To pounce on guests the minute that they come through the door doesn’t work. Conversely it is also a failing to invite folks into membership, give them a spiritual inventory and then ignore it.

My prayer is that my church finds its way. I do think it will be a most difficult and arduous path for them. That church is so caught up in declining attendance and membership that they seem panicked. It’s sad really, the pastor is a most gifted preacher but the messages that she deliver seem to get skewed by frantic attempts to raise money and encourage people into the church.

My church's light does seem to be hidden beneath baskets or bowls, so many there tend to guard their turf with an uncommon zeal. I knew early on that I was aware that something was amiss; I’d sit in my pew and feel completely disconnected from the service and members. I fought for a while but now I’m certain that I’ve moved on. I moved on to rediscover my salt and my light hoping that it won’t flicker out, I trust that God will lead me to the right place and all will be well.

Free Tibet, Free China when one is a victim we all are!

In the Gospel of Luke, John the Baptizer when asked by the crowd, what to do says: He who has two coats let him share with him who has none, and he who has food let him do likewise”(3:11).

So, when called to Christian ministry and social justice I see things much the same way, especially when contemplating human rights and oppression. Therefore I will approach the Peoples Republic of China and their actions and also the actions of the present administration in the U.S. and the capitalists in the U.S. and worldwide in much the same fashion. Could we ask this question with respect to human rights, freedom of religion, freedom of speech and a whole host of other personal liberties?

The Peoples Republic of China’s government is doing its level best to quash the movement for freedom in Tibet spearheaded by the Buddhists in that region lead by the Dali Lama. The evil that is the Peoples Republic will stop at nothing to keep Tibet under its boot. They will lie, cheat, kill, steal and spin the truth to break the spirit if not the backs of the Tibetans. Therefore, as I see it, we could say; if one has freedom, let him share with those who have none. If one has a voice, let him share it with those who have none. It is the duty and obligation for every follower of Christ to speak out and take action against the Peoples Republic of China.

Our call to action is to boycott products made in China to not only punish the totalitarian government there but the capitalists who lie down with this vile den of vipers. Included in this den is the International Olympic organization who choose Beijing for the Olympics and most consumer companies who promote if not give a blind eye to the forced labor and slavery upon which the Chinese capitalist model is built. We are obligated as followers of Christ to call attention to the tens of thousands if not millions who toil to feed the beast which is Chinese capitalism. We are charged to withhold our dollars in attempt to starve that beast which shackles of so many.

For nearly twenty years the world has turned a blind eye to Chinese oppression, hostility, anger and manipulation because of its thirst for inexpensive clothing and consumer trinkets. It is time for us to raise up a chorus of voices to force change in the Peoples Republic of China and in the board rooms of capitalist ventures worldwide. It is time for followers of Christ to raise ruckus in the halls of Congress and the White House to force change. It is time for all of us to understand that when one of us is a slave, prisoner or victim we are all victims. It is time for the followers of Christ to say no more slavery, oppression and violence in Tibet or greater China.

The irony in all of this is that today President George W. Bush’s national security advisor Stephen Hadley has said, “The kind of "quiet diplomacy" that the U.S. is practicing is a better way to send a message to China's leaders rather than "frontal confrontation." What simple nonsense and cop out. What caused the Soviet Union to fall was Ronald Reagan standing up to them and the evil that they were. What is needed now is a bulwark of Reagan’s stature to stand against the Chinese and their capitalist friends. Unfortunately I do not see one ready to take up the standard here in the west and the only one on the world stage is the Dali Lama a leader in exile and country less. So until the Dali Lama has backing, a voice and worldwide support I will write and pray for change in Tibet and the Peoples Republic of China.