God is God

God is God and God’s love for humanity is endless, limitless and eternal, otherwise the gift of Christ is diminished. I just finished reading an interview with Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church, the interview was in the Huffington Post. Fred is the man whose followers picket funerals with signs and pictures proclaiming that God hates fags, America, soldiers and anything else that bleeps across Fred’s radar. Side bar, the congregation is made of Fred’s family so it is very easy for him to preach to the choir; he has I dare say a very captive and damaged audience.

The Bible is a love story between God and humanity. Yes there are stories of anger and violence; but after each such episode there is often love, hope, compassion and redemption. Fred and his followers miss this, God is God; they miss this concept so eloquently illustrated by Carlton Pearson in The Gospel of Inclusion. “If we are being saved from God’s punishment, and if God’s punishment is Hell, then both God and Hell are one in the same. Who should we fear the devil and Hell, or the God who created both?

Thinking about this can make your head spin and dare I say that typically those with a fundamental bend, like Fred don’t think about this. Fred and his views and his hate are scary to be sure; though, my belief is those who are less vitriolic are much more dangerous and scary. Those who paint God as angry, vengeful and dare I say it, spiteful miss Calvary. God did not come for the saved, the reconciled, God came for the sinner; all of us, because none of us are sinless. None of us are always reconciled. Don’t miss me here, I’m not indicting like Fred and his lot, I’m pointing out our humanity, especially my own. This does NOT make us bad people, even those who are NOT followers of Christ. It makes us what we are, human and removed from God since the fall in the garden. We all sin, daily, every day and Christ paid for those sins. End of story, we are redeemed.

So what do we do with Fred and people like him? What do we do with the barrage of hate speak and hate action that we are assaulted with daily, in newspapers, on fair and balanced news channels, in headlines, on our roadways, in markets and in every sector of our society? How do we cope with preachers in the pulpit who spew venom, damnation and hate? Hard as it is, difficult as it may be, we do what God expects us to do, what God calls us to do, what God demands us to do; we love them.

We recognize that they don’t or can’t see the light of God in us but in return we see the light of God in them. God loves all of his children whether or not those children love one another or God. This higher calling to humans is difficult and testing. Our human nature leads us naturally to greet hate with hate, anger with anger and vengeance with vengeance.

Hard as it might be when we are assaulted, we must turn the other cheek both literally and metaphorically, if we don’t then we debase ourselves. If we don’t seek the light of God in others; then like the hater we become the embodiment of hate, like the abuser the embodiment of abuse, like the killer the embodiment of murder. We must seek to recognize that people aren’t bad, behavior is bad, situations are bad, circumstances are bad; but people, humanity created in God’s image are NOT bad and no man or woman or child no matter what their circumstances are beyond redemption. We must come to know that it is however impossible to lead another to redemption by shouting them down, demeaning them, indicting them or vilifying them. Those actions seek simply to drive the unredeemed further from the loving care of God.

What was the expectation...?

What was the expectation…?

As I was wiping the kitchen counter off this morning I accidentally knocked a full cup of coffee onto the floor and made a complete mess, not a partial mess but a complete mess that required ten minutes of clean up. I used the time to reflect, why not kill two birds with one stone?

I thought back to the events of last year, family, discord, alienation and landed on the day when I received the email from my brother telling us that Julian had moved out of his home. That Julian would be accorded no support; emotional, financial or otherwise and I thought to why; why was that email, worded in that way sent to me and others? Why and what was the desired outcome?

The thought slowly came that I had been painted into a no win situation. If I should buy in and also choose not support, interact, help, listen to or otherwise love Julian, then I loose the opportunity to act in a selfless way and get to know a remarkable young man with a wealth of promise who for reasons of his own had to move on. Right or wrong, Julian had made decisions that were his decisions. We all fall, we all falter but our hope is that someone is there to help us up.

But if I should choose to maintain a relationship with Julian then I loose too. Although invited into the conversation by simply receiving the email, should I not choose the obvious, then I loose all interaction with my brother, his six other children and his wife. If I should choose this path then I will incur silence, alienation, shunning and fury; also an accusation of meddling and crossing a line to where I don’t belong.

Here’s where I could easily allow myself to become angry. I was invited into participation; the email was sent to me. At the time I didn’t realize that the guise wasn’t to simply inform me of certain events, the guise was, I’m telling you this and you have a decision to make; if the you make a decision that I deem incorrect; then you will have to pay for that in a most punitive manner.

Wow, well I’m not angry, I’m not even that hurt anymore; that’s not to say I wasn’t hurt. It’s like this; when a drastic change occurs in life, like the death of a partner or loss of a best friend; in time one learns to deal with the hole that’s left. The hole never leaves, it remains an indelible mark but those left learn how to maneuver around that hole so as not to fall into it or get caught by it, such is this case. Do I hope for healing and reconciliation? Absolutely, but there are caveats and criteria and my assumption is that I have not been granted a conversation because my guidelines are clear and I will not relent. My guidelines require courage, time and strength of character to confront because I will not tolerate the former status quo.

I like the South African model of truth and reconciliation; we can move forward and forge anew but we will not simply ignore the past we will address it and build reconciliation from it. I realize that in our situation not all of us are there and may never get there which explains the silence. With that in mind, I’ll keep praying, thinking and writing on the topic; it helps me manage the hole and gain perspective.

Proverbs 29:19

Proverbs 29:19

A servant cannot be corrected by mere words; though he understands, he will not respond.



Is it then that a servant or a person is corrected by actions too? I think that might be true. One can talk and talk, blather and eventually the blather falls on deaf ears. We understand the words but their meaning and relevance is retarded.

I’d say the same could be true if we turned it all around. Words can be spoken and even though all present hear the words and know the meaning of the words on an individual basis, the meaning of the words when linked together will mean many different things to all parties present. This of course assumes that all parties can actually listen.

An individual could bark or belch out that they don’t ever care if they see another person again for as long as they live. Now the receiver of that message might hear; I don’t care for you, respect you, like you or trust you, therefore I don’t ever want to see you again. The intention of the speaker might be to inflict hurt. Well, with that hurt inflicted those words are almost impossible to pull back. Like the eyes are windows to the soul so are words, true intentions and feeling often fall from the lips and they often fall unknowingly.

Similarly, one might hear one party state, that they are moving on from an argument or disagreement; that they no longer choose to participate. A clear, logical and prudent decision especially if dialogue is leading to nothing. Yet the receiver might hear, I’m moving on, I want to be friends again and I have forgiven all of the tension, half truths and feelings of ill will. Here we find one simple statement and two very different and even alien interpretations to a simple clear sentence. To me moving on clearly means that, the discussion is over and for right now I'm leaving things as they are; I'm also not sure that there is anything further to fix or discuss.

Finally one must consider the cumulative effect of words and actions and put them in context of the situation. It isn’t nearly enough sometimes after words are spoken in haste, emotion, anger to offer a contemptible apology. For an apology to take hold and meaning some time must pass, some thought must be given and some true soul searching invested in. To vomit out hateful words in anger one minute and then apologize moments later and ask for forgiveness is simply a toneless, meaningless and hollow gesture; the servant might hear the words but will not understand them or be interested in them.

Genesis 19

1The(A) two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth 2and said, "My lords,(B) please turn aside to your servant’s house and spend the night(C) and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way." They said,(D) "No; we will spend the night in the town square." 3But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
4But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. 5(E) And they called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight?(F) Bring them out to us, that we(G) may know them." 6Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, 7and said, "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. 8(H) Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man. Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof."

I would like to take a balanced and fair look at the “sin” in this well known and well used story from the book of Genesis, the very first book of the Bible. The book where by word and word alone God created heaven and earth and all. God also declared all created as good. So, I’d like to look at the word and extrapolate it down to a very real and meaningful aspect of my life. The indictment in this story is the word, “know.” There is no doubt about what the men of Sodom mean by know. In this instance it has nothing to do with affection or caring. In this book of the Bible the word know means hurt, abuse, belittle, control, humiliate and be inhospitable.

Righteous Lot offers his virgin daughters to be hurt, abused, belittled, controlled, humiliated and violated an offer witnessed by the people of Sodom. The men of the city say no; it is the strangers that they want to violate. Here’s where the story takes on relevance and power in my world. It revolves around being a stranger and in some cases being treated as a stranger by those related or just that close. It is the realization that “loved ones,” as close as blood can view me as a stranger with perhaps contempt and bigotry and perhaps veil their bigotry in God’s word.

Those close or not will say that my being gay is a mortal sin. That for me there can be none of God's grace, love or redemption because of what I am, who I love and what I find attractive. They will say that I cannot get into Heaven because I will not live a lie, I will be true to myself and therefore be relegated to hell. That if I wanted to ask another man to marry me it would fly in the face of their marriage contract which they view as holy and divinely appointed and approved, which I believe it is. I ask, but what has that to do with me and what have I to do with them? I see it as nothing. My choice to marry, union, bond, live with or use whatever word best describes the union has little if nothing to do with them on a Biblical level or really any level other than perhaps bigotry or some sort of phobia.

My partner John died eight years ago. We'd spent many years together forging a life together, traveling, owning property, attending church, paying taxes, cooking, entertaining, paying bills, cutting grass, visiting with friends and on and on. I think that my point in laying all of this out is very clear...a marriage or union so to speak. John got sick and was in hospital; a close family member didn't come to visit. John passed away and a family member didn't come to the funeral. I melted down for a couple of years after John died and several close family members didn't call, write or check in much. At the time I didn't think much of it and oh yes these family members were friends of Johns. They'd broken bread with him and spent a fair amount of time in his company.

Since so much time has passed and I've had time to heal and reflect it has become clear to me that there is a fair level of inhospitable behavior in some of my family's actions. By devaluing my relationship with John they were acting as the folk of Sodom; there was a void of hospitality. That coupled with the judgment of a very pointed bumper sticker referring to marriage between one man and one woman causes me pain when I see these family members.

I don't understand the need for the bumper sticker or that particular marriage point of view. How are they hurt or even affected by two men or two women creating a union and calling it a marriage? If the people love one another, and love is good and God is responsible for all that is good and all in all, where is the threat, the harm or the danger to them? To deny one what is good is inhospitable and that is the sin of Sodom. This is a good place to point out that all sin is supposedly equal.

My mind then races to find the motivation? Could it be that these folks are mired in the judgment and anger of the Old Testament? How do they reconcile their feelings to the verse John 3:16? How do they reconcile the fact that they do not adhere to Levitican code of the Old Testament but they expect others to do so? How then do they approach the fact that Christ was sent fully God and fully human to create a new covenant and bond with God and the redemption of the world and human kind? Is that love and redemption not available for all who believe? Is it only available to some that live life exactly like they do, going to the same type of church, having the same friends, denying anyone outside of their view of the Christian bubble, salvation and grace by judgment and bigotry. How do you win people to the loving mission of a Christ centered church by painting a circle and painting others out with judgment, castigation and inhospitality?

My answer is simple, I don't know. To be sure, I cannot even talk about this with my family. I don't know how to broach it and I'm not sure if it is even worth it to do so...perhaps in my mind the void is too wide. With so much time, I avoid the deep and needed conversations of reconciliation with them My fear in opening a conversation is that words will turn bitter and rude. So I stay quiet and polite. I know what my mission is; it is to love and be friends with all who I encounter, that by demonstrating my openness and willingness to accept them for what they are and where they are they can come to know the joy that I feel.