Proverbs 8:17 and Robin Hayes

According to WRAL television in Raleigh NC, Robin Hayes, Republican representative from the North Carolina sixth congressional district said this on the weekend of October 18th,"Liberals hate real Americans that work and accomplish and achieve and believe in God."

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. - Proverbs 8:17

Oh my, here I have an issue with Mr. Hayes. He has since apologized but I believe the damage done. Too often the word liberal can be replaced with; black, gay, Jew, Hispanic, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or any person who doesn’t fit the narrow notion that the xenophobes portray as American. John McCain and Sarah Palin started the political bend down this path this year and the rotten Genie is out of the bottle and it may be next to impossible to get it back in. This kind of hate language smacks of McCarthyism or Fascism, it is dangerous, hurtful and divisive because it marginalizes those whom it attacks.

I am a self proclaimed evangelical Christian. For years I bought into the kind of language that Mr. Hayes so recklessly threw around this past weekend. In doing so, I rejected God, I stayed away from church and my heart grew hard and vengeful. After hitting my lowest of lows, I fought tooth and nail to retain my rightful gift, the gift that was paid in blood and pain for me and all on the cross at Calvary.

So with my love of God, Jesus and fervent prayers I reject what Mr. Hayes says about liberals. I believe that I diligently work to seek and love God and America. I have voted in every election since 1983 and almost always have crossed party lines with the exception of primaries. I am a capitalist. I am self employed, working without a safety net; I left the comfort of a state job over fifteen years ago and on average in this scary economy work some sixty hours per week.

I love my God and country and I refuse to allow the likes of Robin Hayes to take away what is rightfully mine. God loved me and all of humanity so much that he gave his only Son, so that I might know eternal love and happiness and life. My fear is that others will hear the words of Mr. Hayes, John McCain, Sarah Palin and any number of others and they will believe what is being said. That those hearing will stay away from God, they will not come to love God because a human with a reckless tongue is lashing out in hurt.

How do you get into Heaven?

Here is an interesting idea, I’m not worried about getting into heaven by the deeds that I do here on Earth.

In reading, “How Good is Good Enough” by Andy Stanley, the question is asked, what do you need to do to get into heaven? A child in a Sunday school class answers, be dead. This got me to thinking and chewing on the notion and hope of getting into heaven. Philippians 3:20 says, But our citizenship (actually our real homeland) is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. As an evangelical follower of the Christ there is no task that I can complete, no good deed to do, that can get me into Heaven.

In reality, right now, and hopefully forever, I won’t have to worry about the end or eternity in heaven, it is far more important to live a Christ centered life here and now. Christ’s gift enables us for lack of a better word to only fret about today and what is directly before us, he says so. By his passion, crucifixion, death, time in Hell and resurrection Christ gave us the ultimate gift. He, fully God and fully man reconciled us to God, his father, the creator. By his deed, God’s deed, the plan, we have been given the everlasting joy of eternal life and salvation and all we have to do is believe, ask for it, ask for forgiveness and then model it to the best of our ability while trapped here on Earth.

I am not suggesting that we live willy nilly without discernment, planning, holiness and calculation but rather a more truly faithful and holy life. Christ’s gift challenges us to holiness not only in deed but in word. Matthew 12:37, for by your words you will be justified and by your words condemned, so to those who crucify with words, think first. Then when it comes to deeds, Jesus says in Matthew 5:9, Blessed are the peacemakers, for they well be called children of God. Peace on this level can be boiled down to a whole host of actions, feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, comforting those in pain and modeling Christ’s life through action.

All of this thought about Heaven and Hell leaves me wondering about those protestors who I saw at N.C. Pride yesterday. Did they think that shrieking at us through bull horns and berating us with their belief that we were going to Hell helped any of us? How do they reconcile the words of Jesus Chris in Matthew 12: 37? How do they reconcile that God is Love, Jesus is Love and we are to love one another as we love ourselves and above all else love God. Do they really think that telling another human being and child of God that they are going to Hell is a loving helpful action?

I used to become agitated, angry and furious with these folk. No more, I now pray for them all. I pray that they see that by word and deed we are to love our fellow human beings and only by doing so do we guarantee a place for ourselves in heaven. Day to day we must strive for holiness…wholiness if that fits better, and makes better sense. You see that in and of it self is the task and deed to get us to Heaven’s gate and beyond. We go to the creator, humbly and ask for forgiveness and professing our belief. It has only to do with us, self and no one else. There is where so many others, the verbal crucifiers, the physical crucifiers miss their mark. They’re not worrying about themselves, they are abusing others and nowhere in the New Testament does Christ God the Messiah abuse the beloved chosen.

Now, I feel a profound sadness when I read the likes of John McCann or see the screamers at NC Pride, they are not helping people by showing them a Christ like attitude but rather they perpetuate the notion that there is no place in a Christian world for outcasts and folk on the margin. The reality, Christ made it perfectly clear in his ministry that the marginal are those precisely whom we are called to serve. If we serve them, if we befriend them, if we save them then they will to know how to get into Heaven, and in by doing so at the end perhaps God with Jesus at his right hand will say to us, “Well done.”

Happy Pride and a response to John McCann

Let’s agree to disagree…a rebuttal to John McCann local writer with the “Durham Herald Sun.” Durham, NC

Here again is a pundit and talking head taking on homosexuality a subject I dare say he knows little if nothing about. McCann like so many others seems to rely on the age old myth that gay folk, bisexual folk, trans folk and so on somehow made a “choice” to be what they are. I’d challenge that the above alphabet of folk, gbtl etc. no more made a decision to “be” what they are than McCann has. What they did decide is not to hide what they are or live deceptively. To that end I’d ask John McCann, when, just when sir did you choose to be straight?

Dear Sir, please tell me how many same sex encounters, even if they were only in your mind, did you have before you choose to be with women and women exclusively? If John is honest and I have no doubt he would be, and perhaps he says, none, I’ve never had that attraction. Well then, wouldn’t it be logical for me to say that I have never been physically attracted to the opposite sex? I haven’t and by not being attracted that way in no way makes me less of a human or less entitled to basic rights and respect. That’s why we march once a year and a lot of us work tirelessly year round demanding equal treatment under the law. News flash, John et al, it still eludes us. One would think that an African American man would get that.

You see us gbtl folk can’t marry, so there is no tax deduction or marriage recognition there and so unequal protection under the law. We can’t join the military openly and therefore no VA health care or G.I. Bill of Rights. Oh, we could join but being what we are; don’t ask, don’t tell flies out the window right along with us queers. Then should we choose to live with someone and own property and perhaps one spouse should die within our unrecognized family. Then property rights fly right out the window. When my partner John died, I had to hire an attorney to fight off his mother just to save my home, my car, my bank accounts, my furniture and my semblance of life built with the man I loved. How many heterosexual spouses have to battle that battle? I’d venture to guess, none.

So many of the McCann ilk and more extreme ilk seem to think that there is some sort of perverted choice at play here with so called decisions of human sexuality. Yet these same people deny that they ever made a choice most of the time. McCann even talks in his Friday September 26th column about a discussion he had with a friend of mine and male penguins raising an egg. He says there would be not egg without the female. True very true, but my challenge to John McCann when and if he comes to Gay Pride for N.C. tomorrow is take a look around at all of the gbtl families and notice that there are a lot of children being raised by single sex parents. You see we manage nicely with a donation.

Finally, what all of this who ha boils down to is bigotry; it manifests in interesting and unexpected ways but any way you slice it, it is homophobic bigotry. To mock, condemn, joke about gbtl folk simply because they are what they are is no different than doing the same thing based on race or color. We can synthesize it down to that simple a comparison, folk of color, whatever the color no more made that decision than gbtl folk made the decision to be what they are…they all are what they are...yes sir we are what we are, we’re not going away and we’re not going to live in shameful secret.

1 John and love, respect and etc.

1 John 3:18

Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth

So, here in late September 2008 we find America in the throws of the election season with venom spewed on the Internet and television alike. Each ad escalating the bend of their agenda and informing all of us just how low, degraded, degenerate and awful the other side is. Yet the pollsters, pundits, talking heads and media moguls alike sometimes wonder why America is a petty, foolish, selfish, self serving and punitive place. Is it any wonder?

When contemplating this verse from first John its easy to see that in America we don’t love with word, tongue, action or truth. We embroil and embody at times the worst in terms of human characteristics as all people do at times. This petty selfishness boils over in almost all aspects of day to day life. On our highways common courtesy is all but gone. Drivers willfully scoff law, drive at high rates of speed, weave in and out of traffic, litter, drive drunk and completely disregard their fellow human beings. In a word their actions embody hate, disrespect and selfishness.

In the grocery store, many people walk and talk with a cell phone to their ear so that they can avoid any sort of interaction with fellow human beings. You see I believe that it is easy to justify being rude to others if you have a phone to your ear because your mindset from the start is one of debasement of others. To simplify this observation, it’s like this, the telephone talker won’t even hang up a phone to deal with, interact with or be polite to other people right before them. The justification, well I was…on the phone, those real people around me or near me in real time, don’t count and don’t matter. Of course on the flip side, many a store clerk works with a phone to the ear so that they don’t have to humanize those that are right in front of them. Simply put this is meanness and disrespect at its level best.

Nightly on television we are faced with more channels than not that spin their take on the day’s events. It really doesn’t matter which side of the aisle you sit, it is spin. What most folks don’t realize is that television time, and most importantly “news” is a commodity that is for sale and that the owners of television stations don’t care what they sell over the public trust airwaves. To that end I had a television executive tell me so.

I had an email discussion with the news room manager of WRAL television here in Raleigh where I told him he should be ashamed by what his station transmits in terms of political ads. His response, don’t blame us we don’t make it, we just transmit it. To whit, my response was right on. By transmitting you are culpable. He just wouldn’t see it that way. Kind of like a Nazi dropping gas at Auschwitz and saying don’t blame me, I just drop it I don’t manufacture it. Is the Nazi soldier that drops the gas any guiltier or less guilty than the capitalist that makes the gas? I don’t think so. What fascinated me most with respect to the executive at WRAL was his complete disregard for his own and his company’s personal truth.

So then, what is the answer? I know for me it is staying out of the twenty four hour news cycle, its hype and lack of truth. For me it is a keen understanding that every ad, commercial and television talk show is trying to sell me something. It is tucking my cell phone away when in store and smiling at others and saying hello, it is driving the speed limit, letting others in ahead of me and attempting to be the person God expects me to be and my parents wanted me to be. Do I fall short? Absolutely, does that mean I stop trying, absolutely not.

The fruit of the Spirit is...

Galatians. 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

But the fruit, singular of the Spirit, singular, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Even back to the Greek the fruit is singular. Spirit is singular too as is God. What an interesting use of words. How interesting too when we contemplate how so many can be abused by so called church folk doling out their brand of judgment. The use of the word dole is deliberate too, from the old English dolor, to cause pain or more modern to apportion small amounts.

There is nothing in this verse from Galatians that has anything to do with pain, causing pain, judgment or hurt. In fact the entire passage speaks to the joys of belief in one God, his son, the savior, the Messiah, Jesus Christ. In fact one might arguably refer to the verse for a road map of day to day life. In one mind, one though, one spirit through one God treat all with one love, one joy, one peace, one patience, one kindness, one goodness, one faithfulness, one gentleness and one self-control. Master all of those and you’ve won the day.

Break it down further and look at the singularity of the fruit and spirit. You see the fruit of the Spirit is all encompassing. The singular fruit encompasses the entirety of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control all rolled into one. What God expects from us is not one of these fine attributes but all of them at all times. A very, very tall order and one very difficult challenge. God knows that if it is easy then maybe it isn't worth doing. Many of God's challenges to humanity are difficult including this one from Galatians which expects so much from the one of us.

To embrace humanity and love humanity all of these fruit and Spirit attributes are required simultaneously. We can approach a dirty, drunken homeless person with kindness, but if we don't have patience to help them deal with their addiction, we are of little use to them. We can attend church with faithfulness but if we act daily without love of others then the time in church is wasted. We can pray our hearts out for desired outcomes but if those outcomes lack peace and the self-control of balanced thought then we've failed in our prayers.

So, hard as it might be, when meditating on Galatians 5:22-23 we have to bear in mind that it is the singular fruit of the Spirit that is the singular God which we aspire to. God, embodied as Jesus the Christ on Earth two thousand years ago and the Spirit today; which is and always will be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Genesis 19

1The(A) two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed himself with his face to the earth 2and said, "My lords,(B) please turn aside to your servant’s house and spend the night(C) and wash your feet. Then you may rise up early and go on your way." They said,(D) "No; we will spend the night in the town square." 3But he pressed them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house. And he made them a feast and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.
4But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. 5(E) And they called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight?(F) Bring them out to us, that we(G) may know them." 6Lot went out to the men at the entrance, shut the door after him, 7and said, "I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. 8(H) Behold, I have two daughters who have not known any man. Let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please. Only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof."

I would like to take a balanced and fair look at the “sin” in this well known and well used story from the book of Genesis, the very first book of the Bible. The book where by word and word alone God created heaven and earth and all. God also declared all created as good. So, I’d like to look at the word and extrapolate it down to a very real and meaningful aspect of my life. The indictment in this story is the word, “know.” There is no doubt about what the men of Sodom mean by know. In this instance it has nothing to do with affection or caring. In this book of the Bible the word know means hurt, abuse, belittle, control, humiliate and be inhospitable.

Righteous Lot offers his virgin daughters to be hurt, abused, belittled, controlled, humiliated and violated an offer witnessed by the people of Sodom. The men of the city say no; it is the strangers that they want to violate. Here’s where the story takes on relevance and power in my world. It revolves around being a stranger and in some cases being treated as a stranger by those related or just that close. It is the realization that “loved ones,” as close as blood can view me as a stranger with perhaps contempt and bigotry and perhaps veil their bigotry in God’s word.

Those close or not will say that my being gay is a mortal sin. That for me there can be none of God's grace, love or redemption because of what I am, who I love and what I find attractive. They will say that I cannot get into Heaven because I will not live a lie, I will be true to myself and therefore be relegated to hell. That if I wanted to ask another man to marry me it would fly in the face of their marriage contract which they view as holy and divinely appointed and approved, which I believe it is. I ask, but what has that to do with me and what have I to do with them? I see it as nothing. My choice to marry, union, bond, live with or use whatever word best describes the union has little if nothing to do with them on a Biblical level or really any level other than perhaps bigotry or some sort of phobia.

My partner John died eight years ago. We'd spent many years together forging a life together, traveling, owning property, attending church, paying taxes, cooking, entertaining, paying bills, cutting grass, visiting with friends and on and on. I think that my point in laying all of this out is very clear...a marriage or union so to speak. John got sick and was in hospital; a close family member didn't come to visit. John passed away and a family member didn't come to the funeral. I melted down for a couple of years after John died and several close family members didn't call, write or check in much. At the time I didn't think much of it and oh yes these family members were friends of Johns. They'd broken bread with him and spent a fair amount of time in his company.

Since so much time has passed and I've had time to heal and reflect it has become clear to me that there is a fair level of inhospitable behavior in some of my family's actions. By devaluing my relationship with John they were acting as the folk of Sodom; there was a void of hospitality. That coupled with the judgment of a very pointed bumper sticker referring to marriage between one man and one woman causes me pain when I see these family members.

I don't understand the need for the bumper sticker or that particular marriage point of view. How are they hurt or even affected by two men or two women creating a union and calling it a marriage? If the people love one another, and love is good and God is responsible for all that is good and all in all, where is the threat, the harm or the danger to them? To deny one what is good is inhospitable and that is the sin of Sodom. This is a good place to point out that all sin is supposedly equal.

My mind then races to find the motivation? Could it be that these folks are mired in the judgment and anger of the Old Testament? How do they reconcile their feelings to the verse John 3:16? How do they reconcile the fact that they do not adhere to Levitican code of the Old Testament but they expect others to do so? How then do they approach the fact that Christ was sent fully God and fully human to create a new covenant and bond with God and the redemption of the world and human kind? Is that love and redemption not available for all who believe? Is it only available to some that live life exactly like they do, going to the same type of church, having the same friends, denying anyone outside of their view of the Christian bubble, salvation and grace by judgment and bigotry. How do you win people to the loving mission of a Christ centered church by painting a circle and painting others out with judgment, castigation and inhospitality?

My answer is simple, I don't know. To be sure, I cannot even talk about this with my family. I don't know how to broach it and I'm not sure if it is even worth it to do so...perhaps in my mind the void is too wide. With so much time, I avoid the deep and needed conversations of reconciliation with them My fear in opening a conversation is that words will turn bitter and rude. So I stay quiet and polite. I know what my mission is; it is to love and be friends with all who I encounter, that by demonstrating my openness and willingness to accept them for what they are and where they are they can come to know the joy that I feel.

You are the salt of the Earth and the light of the world

Matthew 5:13-16
Salt and Light
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

I just love the beatitudes and the lessons in them. Today I went to a new church for me and the lesson was taught on these verses and it was so inspiring and relevant and timely. The pastor essentially said that followers of Christ live in bubbles. It is inside those bubbles that we cast judgment on the folk of the world who are not saved or church goers. The pastor also pointed out that empirically the only difference between church going believers and those not; is that goers own more Bibles. Goers are just as likely to lie, cheat, steal, harm and act in deceitful ways. Goers do tend to give more to faith based charity too but that’s about it.

Interestingly enough when we believers go into the world we tend to try awkward attempts at getting the world into our churches. We tend not to befriend first but ask and invite first which tends to put the none church attendee off. In fact often it makes them run away very quickly. So in very broad terms I began to think about the church that I’m a member of and the difficulties there now.

The church where I am a member is in crisis. Attendance is falling, people come but they don’t stay. I’m a prime example. There are individuals who are members of my church who I love and cherish but the larger church didn’t invite me in or engage me. They asked my spiritual inventory and then ignored it. They tried to plug me into areas where I have no passion, like hospitality and the board of trustees; where I still sit; but not for long. My passions revolve around singing, acting, visual arts, writing, teaching and preaching. All of those passions were ignored and dismissed. It was made very clear that my round peg wasn’t going to be put into my round hole and so I lost interest.

So, roughly a year after becoming a member of my church, I’m looking for a new one. A church closer to home, one where my round peg will be placed in my round hole and my faith passions can be explored. I know soon enough that I’m going to write a letter of resignation to my church. I think in it I will have to be open, honest and forthright with them and tell them exactly why I no longer feel lead to attend or be a member of their congregation. I approach this action with trepidation and when examining the action feel my light flicker. My church was very much a part of my recovery from years of self destructive behavior.

I love the members and the pastor of the church where I’m a member. They helped me discover that I am worthy and loved and most importantly I am capable of chaste love. They helped me discover that the living God not only lives in me but in all people and that all people are worthy of redemption and grace There I discovered that in order to get new folks into church you have to be their friend first, they have to see the light in you and taste the salt. The salt is Christ and living a life lead by his example, service and sacrifice. To pounce on guests the minute that they come through the door doesn’t work. Conversely it is also a failing to invite folks into membership, give them a spiritual inventory and then ignore it.

My prayer is that my church finds its way. I do think it will be a most difficult and arduous path for them. That church is so caught up in declining attendance and membership that they seem panicked. It’s sad really, the pastor is a most gifted preacher but the messages that she deliver seem to get skewed by frantic attempts to raise money and encourage people into the church.

My church's light does seem to be hidden beneath baskets or bowls, so many there tend to guard their turf with an uncommon zeal. I knew early on that I was aware that something was amiss; I’d sit in my pew and feel completely disconnected from the service and members. I fought for a while but now I’m certain that I’ve moved on. I moved on to rediscover my salt and my light hoping that it won’t flicker out, I trust that God will lead me to the right place and all will be well.