Our Identity

Identity

Sexual identity is at the core of our sexuality. Just as with other aspects of our identity (male or female, young or old, and so on) our sexual identity is how we see our sexual self and how we express that part of ourself to others.

But it is just part of yourself - there is more to you as a person than your sexual identity. Most people have many relationships, such as with friends and family that have nothing to do with their sexual identity.

Today on Facebook a second cousin of mine wrote that Jesus loves the homosexual but hates homosexuality.  I cannot for the life of me find any scriptural passage that says any such thing. 

I bristle at such statements.  I also won’t tolerate them without a reaction.  To condemn one’s sexual identity is to condemn the core of one’s being. It is at essence a condemnation of one’s spirit and soul.  It also is an operation from a point of believing that the homosexual has made a conscience decision to be what they are.  This is illogical and no more grounded in foundation than saying that a woman makes a choice to be female, an Asian to be Asian, a heterosexual to be same.

Speaking only from the kaleidoscope of my perception, I NEVER, EVER made a choice to be gay or homosexual.  From my earliest recollections I was attracted to men; early recollections like elementary school. I was less than ten years old.  I was reading Ann Landers the famous advice columnist when I was in second grade; there was a letter from a gay man regarding coming out of the closet; I stood in our dining room at 53 Bortic Rd. in Cedar Grove, NJ and knew at that moment what I was.

The decision I made when I was much older, seventeen years old to be exact was, that I would NOT live in shame or silence.  I would live honestly and true to myself.  To anyone who would state otherwise, my question to them is simple; when, just when as a heterosexual person did YOU make a decision to be heterosexual?  And, how many homosexual experiences did YOU have before you made that decision?  Typically, this course of questioning shuts down the debate, indictment and crucifixion because, there is typically NO answer. Or better yet, no honest answer.  So to my cousin, wow, and thanks for lumping me in with murderers that association really, really hurts.