Bull's Head Inn

Bull’s Head Inn

It really is amazing how the decades can fade away. This Sunday after Nana’s 100th birthday party I drove up to Goshen New York to have dinner with two high school friends. The day was lovely; the drive-through northeastern New Jersey was amazing. The mountains were pretty, the sky uncommonly clear and the colors crisp. As I drove I thought if I had found this before moving to North Carolina I would've moved here. The New York Thruway was equally beautiful and the town of Washingtonville New York a delight. Washingtonville looks like one of those miniature Christmas villages, idealistic, serene, neat and warm.

The Bull’s Head Inn was equally charming, nestled on a gentle rise, along a country road outside of Goshen. My friend Beth and I arrived at the same time and we retired inside to wait for our friend Sheryl to show up. Beth and I sat at the bar drinking soda and talking and starting to catch up. I gave her little snippets from my grandmother's birthday party, from work and from life in general and she did the same. The bar was absolutely stunning, with the picture window beyond the bottles and a view of the meadow. The top of the bar was copper which I found to be amazing.

Sherryl showed up at about 5:10 and she looked like she had just stepped out of high school 30 years ago. Truthfully, so does Beth; I'm not sure the same could be said about me. So Sherryl showed and we were directed to our table. We had a private corner in the public dining room and we were the only people in that room.

The atmosphere was wonderful, the food was perfect and the nearly 5 hours of conversation was fluid, warm and engaging. I was struck then and am struck now by how easily the decades with these two fine women just melt away. As we talked, we rediscovered very keen and specific shared values; interestingly enough, and even though life had taken us in very different directions the three of us rediscovered that we felt the same way about a variety of issues. All three of us are concerned about the deterioration of manners in our society, the venom that embodies the body politic and the overall disregard for the disenfranchised within our society.

Of course we spoke about our families and what had been going on in our personal lives and that was wonderful. It sure is nice to know that people who I care so much for are doing real well in the end. Of course their lives are not ideal no one’s life is. My own life included. My one wish and my one take away from this evening is that we don't wait 10 more years before we see each other again; but if we do I'm not concerned because I know that my friends are there.

Rain Water Tax

A tax on rain

Years ago the North Carolina legislature gave the cities in the state the right to tax residents on the amount of rainwater that falls on their properties and cannot be absorbed into the ground. In a very sneaky fashion, Durham, the city that I live in has named this tax, a storm water runoff fee.

Here's an interesting question, in an effort to reduce my impact on the environment, I've begun harvesting rainwater. So now, one of my downspouts empties into a very large barrel, and I use this water in my gardens. This water is not running into the sewer system, so how is Durham going to give me credit for this water that they don't have to "process?"

My guess is that there will be no credit. In the last few months Durham has at times relentlessly and unfairly made all sorts of interesting grabs for revenue from her citizens. Our storm water and drinking water bills are combined, but the bill for drinking water is due several days later then the bill for storm water. There is no notation on the bill for two separate due dates and in many instances if one pays on time they are still slapped with a late fee for the storm water bill. I was one of those folks. I was charged $.31 for my storm water bill being late even though I paid my water bill on time.

I know I shouldn't cry over $.31 but it's the principle of the matter. Af Durham does this to 200,000 people that is $62,000 in additional revenue. That my friends is not chump change.

Philip. 4:13 Paul testified, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”

Philip. 4:13 Paul testified, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me”

Some Baptist preacher from Texas called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints a cult. On CNN he went on to say that he had a duty to tell the truth. But I found it ironic that he really didn't take much time to go into detail about how simple it is to be a believer. If he had done so and then he would've seen the flaws in his reason. The simple fact of the matter is that Mormons believe in Jesus Christ, they believe in Christ as the son of God, the living God and God incarnate.

Why I'd venture to point out that it's even in their name. So really this preacher in Texas is focusing on the wrong thing; we all should be focusing on love and the love that Christ brought all of us. Instead he's focusing on division. My prayer for this man is that he finds the love and by finding love invites acceptance, there's room at the table for all of us.

The voice of reason

No one is reasonable all the time, myself included. I think it's important that we keep an eye on how we view the world and the ironies in our life and though process.

I was visiting with the family member a few weeks ago and this family member said, "We should do away with the government."

Now mind you, this family member is well taken care, this family member has lots of money, lives in a warm home, has nice automobiles and is generally very very comfortable. The irony in the statement of hers, is that if she looks at her life with a careful examination she'll see that her income is derived from a very healthy government pension fund. She also collects Social Security, her health insurance is covered by Medicare this in addition to her A Class state health plan, her son is a government employee, her mother receives Social Security, her mother has an FHA insured reverse mortgage and her son-in-law is an accountant who prepares tax returns.

There is no doubt in my mind that many people feel very abused by the government but alas many of them don't see the irony in their thoughts. Additionally in a society of some 300 million people it makes little sense to take on a libertarian notion. One only has to look at Somalia, Haiti and most of sub-Saharan Africa to deduce that libertarian notions, a society devoid of ordered government simply does not work. It is contrary to human nature to be left to our own devices. There should be a higher degree of control to ensure that people behave in a respectable civilized manner. Even then judging from the million or so people in our prisons, that doesn't always work.

I certainly don't advocate the kind of control that one would find under a totalitarian regime, I believe in an open society, I believe in a plural society, but in examining society one has to understand that many of one's compatriots, because of upbringing, background, education or lack of education may not operate from the same moral foundation as others. Certainly it's reasonable to understand that government has its problems, I see that and I understand that, but to throw the baby out with the bathwater really doesn't make much sense.

God in Everyone

God so loved the world that he sent his son. God sent his son, part of Himself, Himself to die on a cross so that all of us could know love. Honestly, I sometimes find very hard to love humanity. I find it very difficult to see past peoples foibles, failings, meanness, rudeness and selfishness to love them all the time,
any of the time.

Realize that I am often very hard to love. Isn't that the key? When we look at others and we see their failings isn't it like looking in a mirror and seeing our own? When God sent Jesus he did so because he was radically in love with us, he couldn't stand to be without us. He knew without some radical action that humanity would end up separate from God forever.

The living God in his love and glory could no longer face the agony of being apart from his children. Something radical was needed. That's something was a sacrifice, the sacrifice of himself on the cross at Calvary.

In examining that sacrifice and how much it meant to humanity, then why can't I see beyond my own failings, and the failings of others? God can see past my feet of clay, God can see past my pettiness, God can see past my foolishness, God can see past my self-righteousness and He still loves me. God still loves me when I lose my temper, God still loves me when I don't love myself.


So what can I do? Perhaps I'll pray a little harder, perhaps I'll think a little longer before I speak, perhaps I'll step back when I feel myself getting angry and maybe that's all I should do.

Changes in the weather

In the image, Me and John, Kim and her baby Kate.

Changes in the weather

I love autumn and dislike autumn at the same time. The clear air, void of haze and humidity and the brilliant light take me to back to happy times. John and I became an item in the fall. I felt renewed and complete once that happened. I was able to cope with the suicide of my friend Kim because John was there for me. Kim killed herself on October 29, 1992 and that event officially closed a significant chapter in my life and was the preamble to another.

When the light changes and the air clears my mind turns to Kim and John, two people I have been closest to in my life and both gone. In a way, both gone by choice whether rational or irrational, but both gone, and what’s left, a void. In both cases when they died, I wondered if I’d ever be able to cope with and reconcile the holes left in my life. I really haven’t, those holes never fill in you just learn not to tumble into them.

Last night I got to wondering about Heaven and meeting back up with John there. I wondered if he’d be there as a 35 year old man, the age he was when he died. I wondered what his reaction would be to me, a man greater in years than 46; or would our reunion transcend age and be a reunion of soul and spirit? I thought about Kim and if Heaven would bring mental clarity and peace or if she’d be even more damaged by regret and pain.

I suppose my prayer is that my reunion with both is just one of joy and peace and a homecoming of happy soul and spirit. I long desperately to tell them both so much and as a matter of fact that is one of my recurring dreams.

I reunite with John and we’re at the Parade, a club in New Orleans. I have so much to tell him, but he doesn’t speak or want to speak, he just wants to hold me and dance. The light is crisp pouring through the windows, brilliant and autumn clear, the music thumps and we dance. We dance in New Orleans a place of exuberant happy memories and warmth and that’s it. Well hopefully... perhaps.

I am ashamed to be a North Carolinian

RALEIGH, N.C. — The North Carolina House of Representatives will decide Monday whether to put a ban on same-sex marriage before voters next year, Speaker Thom Tillis said.

The General Assembly reconvened at noon, and a House committee quickly agreed to bring the measure to the floor. The bill would allow voters to decide whether to change the state constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman.
Thom Tillis said he expected the measure to pass with the required three-fifths vote — or 72 representatives — of the House, which would mean some Democrats joined the Republican majority in voting for the measure. The House must vote yes twice before it can move on to the Senate.
Voters could see it on the ballot during the May primary election. (WRAL Sept. 12, 2011)

So how do I respond to this without becoming emotional? When across the south Jim Crow Laws were on the books abridging the rights of African Americans; people in favor of those laws believed that they were right and in many instances would have laid down their lives to defend the indefensible. Now the State legislature in North Carolina stands all but ready to turn the abrogation of rights, of a segment of the population, over to popular vote. I am sure that large sections of the population will indeed vote to constitutionally ban same sex marriage and union, the clarion call being that the Bible states that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. We won’t even go into the fact that through out the Old Testament there are marriages of multiples.

I am a human; I am made in God’s image as all humans are. I am called to be what God has called me to be as all human beings are called. That’s what I believe. That’s what all fundamental Bible believers believe. Then why if this is the case can they, those believers not grasp, accept, comprehend that not everyone will be made to look and live as they do? Why then can they not grasp, comprehend that to abrogate the rights of some is not a loving Christian thing to do? Jesus said [Love God with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbors as you love yourself.]

Would then a loving person take such drastic measures to make it a matter of law to abrogate another’s rights? I think not.

So this is why today I am ashamed to be a North Carolinian