The Telephone Nazi

Telephone Nazi

I spend a lot of time day in and day out on the telephone. I use voice mail constantly and I hope that I use voice mail correctly.
I have several clients and have had a business partner who I will classify as telephone or voice mail Nazis. A telephone voice mail Nazi is an individual who phones and leaves the following message, “Hi Michael, this is Mary, call me.” Click.

In this instance the telephone is being used as a nearly lethal weapon, a control weapon, and electronic leash or cattle prod. My challenge is how I cope with this electronic terrorism.

I typically tend not to phone back immediately. Over time I’ve determined that these folks have nothing pressing to discuss with me. Typically when I phone back I’m faced with people who don’t remember why they’ve phoned me in the first place, people who really don’t have a question, comment or concern at all, but simply want to revisit some obvious fact or matter. I’ve also discovered that these jerks on the electronic leash come toward the end of a business day, in the evening when most folks are engaged in family time or toward the end of my work week; late on a Saturday afternoon. The risk then for me is that my patience is low and I’m tired and fatigued.

So…over time I’ve learned not to phone back on the day the jerk on the leash arrives. I phone back the next morning or on the next business day, when I’m fresh and can field whatever might be thrown my way, which is typically NOTHING. In the case of my former business partner, she would amp up her requests for a return call, even going so far to say that the nature of the call was an emergency. It never was, in every instance Henny Penny was simply clucking that the sky was falling.

I’ve noticed too, that if I happen to fall into the call back trap and then try to move away from it, the jerks on the leash become more violent…so to speak. With the advent of text messaging, texts come, emails also come, but the nature of the call is NEVER shared. Seems to me that by its name "voice mail" would clue folks in that like a letter, there would be a salutation, a body with the meat of the message and a signature or sign off.

I know that the phone and communication is the life line of my business, but I am going to give props to my friend Ray who ascribes to the notion that my telephone is for my convenience and I will therefore return calls when it is convenient for me. Perhaps this is the best way to cope with a telephone voice mail Nazi.