Yesterday I saw my ex. He didn't see me. I was glad for that. He was with his ex from before me. Seeing the two of them set off a whole bunch of anxiety in me. My ex's ex, doesn't have a career, he doesn't have much of a job, he's much older than we are, he's been somewhat home bound for 20+ years and my ex has all but supported him emotionally, understandably and financially, not so much.
I left the CVS after seeing them with all of those five year old questions bubbling up. Why didn't it work with me? Why are they back together? What is it that draws them back together? Why does my ex have nothing to do with me? When he left, he left, no call, no look back, no contact no nothing. Yet with the ex ex there is still relationship, there is still time together, there are still weekends at Myrtle Beach, perhaps, perhaps too evenings here in Durham and obviously trips to CVS.
When my ex left I had to come to terms with the fact that due to age etc. that the end for me and romance, companionship of an intimate source was over and that was tough. I'm beyond that now, life I know is rich, full of blessing, full of great people and joys, yet still I question.
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